Glasses Vortex from Hell and Friends who Rescue You

So my glasses are broken. At some point they were stepped on; or sat on; or slammed in a door (probably all of the above)anyway they are askew. They have been misshapen for a while but now I am getting a callous on my nose where the metal rubs against it. The callous is good because before there was a callous, it was just hurting - now it is scar tissue, which feels no pain! Also one side is completely broken but because they are stylish-two-over-the-ear-thingys, I can still wear them and since glasses cost so much, I have been making them work. However, there was a coupon for an eye exam. Liz found it because Liz takes care of me even though she shouldn’t, because she has enough things and people to take care of. She knows how long I wear glasses that scratch my nose until I lose feeling and she buys my daughter clothes because I hate shopping. She also makes sure I eat yummy food and helps me with crazy harebrained ideas like “Let’s cater!!!” (This is not a comprehensive list - You know how cool you are Liz!) So off I went. What Liz doesn’t know (because last time I got glasses I was in the States) was that getting me to the eye appointment is the easy part. After that, I end up in the glasses vortex from hell.  (For those of you who do know me, glasses shopping is worse than me going shoe shopping… For those of you who have been shoe shopping with me - I'm sorry.  For those of you who have not been shoe shopping with me, it is like being trapped - on an airplane - where they are playing a skipping record over the intercom for four hours… I do realize how bad I am in a shoe store but I can’t seem to get any better… perhaps because I don’t practice because I HATE SHOPPING but I love shoes. It is a catastrophic combo really...) So Liz is at home, taking care of her family when her phone starts going beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep and instead of disowning me, we had a text conversation that went like:

 

 

Thanks Liz you have just won the Nobel Peace Prize for patience and friendship. In the end, I left and went to the movies. I snuck in a salad. I asked the lady at the ticket counter if it would be ok.. she said, "no"... I told her I would keep it in my bag... I didn't. I ate it and it was delicious and the movie was great but I still don't have any glasses that aren't trying to fall off my face...