Musings of an Aging Mind PART TWO

More Birthday questions…

1.      Is it okay to let pandas starve in order to get a smart phone? If you are looking for money in your budget for a smart phone and you notice that the monthly payments to the WWF (World Wildlife Fund) is almost the exact amount you would have to pay to have a smart phone, could it be time to let the Pandas fend for themselves? I mean they have always been pretty good at finding food before. Can’t they just go back to eating bamboo? Do they have to have a three course meal every day? I know I am willing to go without food sometimes for the sake of my phone so maybe they will be fine…

2.      I always wondered if at my very core I am a terrible person who would take money from pandas and buy a smart phone. The jury is still out. I still have my kindergarten phone but I have made the trip to the shiny phone store twice now…it’s starting to look ominous for the pandas… maybe they could start saving up? Like those doomsday prepers?

3.      Can people stop saying ‘Thus sayeth the Lord?’ Stop talking for Him please and if you are quoting scripture you better be ready to give me the historical context and the original Greek and Hebrew otherwise shut up because your “thus sayeth the Lord” just became “thus sayeth Joe Blow” and I, for some strange reason, do not trust in Joe Blow or his Bible. Also, as a bonus, there is a 50/50 chance I won’t know the original Greek and Hebrew so you might win the argument. (It is unlikely though because if you are screaming hate I am likely to be laughing at you, which means I have already won. Or  I may be running away from you because you are scary for no reason. Like it would be okay if you were scary because you were saving kids from sex slavery or something but just scary because you are filled with hate is a definite red flag about pursuing a friendship with you.) Plus, your first clue you might be on the wrong track is you are still using “sayeth” instead of says or said or babbled or jabbered or tweeted!! (see I’m getting the hang of it now).

Maybe we could try interjecting comments like, “I don’t know, let me think about that before answering and say it is absolutely what God believes.” Just a thought, because people are getting really upset and yelling and making signs painted with hate and looking ridiculous and I thought the whole point is that we are NOT God, so, maybe in the future, we can just let Him speak for Himself (or insert a non-gender based word for God here. I could not come up with one because I am running late). And then maybe our collective IQ would go up a few points.