Tents and God-Given Feminism

So, I was thinking about that lady that did a blog according to all the rules for women in the Bible. I was pondering the tent rule, for that time of the month. And I thought maybe God knew what He was doing there. He knew that we would be hormonal and crazy and I think, if at that time spas existed, He would have said, “Thus sayeth the Lord God: thy child-bearing women shall be sent out to the fancy spa or shiny hotel (her choice of course because some of them just don’t like massages) for the two days of crazy time preceding the week of the annoying time. They will be taken care of and given drinks and chocolate so that, in that day they will not ponder how much they hate their husband for no reason in particular, except for the way he cheweth his food, and they will not yell at perfect strangers driving other cars and they will returneth home refreshed and rested and ready to rule the world.” He would have said this last part because, if it was a time when spas existed, we would have already put the patriarchal society behind us, like we have put slavery behind us, but I digress.   

He also would have added,“Yeah, I am sorry about the hormone and period thing; it’s necessary to make those cute little babies, remember the cute little babies? Plus, I wanted you to have the option of having a baby whichever month you choose, when you feel you are ready, or when you feel you can rule the world and have babies, which you can totally do because I created you to be amazing. And, you know, even if you think you are done having babies you don’t want someone to tell you that you HAVE to be done. So that is why I made it so it keeps going after you have babies… so you could decide.” And then He would have said “Go forth and behold a baby so that your anger does not boileth.” And then he would have said, “The sound of your husband eating is a bit strange really; I mean I love him and all but yeah, with the hormone problem I gave you, it really is annoying.” And then he would have said, “Go easy upon the slow driver - they were part of the reason you arrived safe and sound.”