Word of the Year

Surreal – That is the word Webster’s picked for this year. I didn’t know that the Webster’s dictionary picked a word of the year until two days ago. And it just so happens that the year I discover this tradition is the year I completely agree. I don’t think I have ever agreed with Merriam so much before. (In fact, I have several particular problems with her/his/their lack of definitions see this for words that should be included but are not.) But surreal and its definition are perfect for this year. (I looked up the definition in order to contribute to the stats that Webster used, which was fun! But it was probably too late and they are not watching the stats any more. Also Dad said I had to define it. Anyway, Here it is: "marked by the intense irrational reality of a dream".) So many people have been saying what a terrible year it has been (I particularly enjoyed John Oliver’s farewell). But because of the surrealness of it all, I could not seem to wrap my head around the world events, let alone my own personal year, in order to categorize it.

I had a great job (my most favorite job – I got to tutor creative writing students!)  and I tried out calling myself a writer for a while - but then the puppy

pulverized Al’s leg

and Amelia got in trouble at school for being proud of the fact that she made the Waikato Soccer team.  (Literally, she was congratulated for making the team, and gave a smile and a thumbs-up and was in big trouble. She was nearly taken before a Senate disciplinary hearing. Or so news reports said.) Also she was told she could not say “no” when someone asked her to dance. Which I understand; in a middle school dance they would all just say no and sit there; but still, I don’t want anyone telling my daughter she can’t say no because they don’t want to hurt any feelings. And with all the horrible “let’s not punish rapist” things happening, it feels like not such a good year for women or people. Plus why can’t you be proud of accomplishments? Sorry I can’t let Thumbs-up-gate go. And, as with all “gates”, such as Watergate, I have no idea what actually took place and who the villains are. There was no weird tape recording catching the mastermind in the act of… I still don’t know. But I'm pretty sure the villian is not the person giving the thumbs-up.

Now, I am particularly fond of conspiracy theories because I have a profound distrust of authority. I pretty much think they are out to get me. As evidenced by the X-Files (choose any episode – but the ones with the guy smoking through his tracheostomy are the most convincing; also the one with all the bees – oh, and the one where Scully is finally abducted by Aliens AND the government – I think – but as with all the “gate controversies”, I’m still not sure what is happening in that show. I thought the two movies, and the little bonus season Netflix just gave us, would have cleared things up. But they only just made it more confusing and I still can’t tell if Mulder and Scully are together or if they ever were.) Anyway, despite my confusion, the X-Files made it clear that we are living in a conspiracy world (not material – you are singing the song wrong if you sing Material) and I am a conspiracy girl.

I will entertain anything from the moon landing to Atlantis. First of all, because I love stories and second because listening to other points of view is good for my brain. I'm sure there are studies but I don’t have time to find those right now. I'm too busy trying to read the internet web of truth. I mean there is so much out there to learn - especially from the truth-seeking, online journal called Facebook.

The main conspiracy this year seems to be that you can’t trust anyone.  You can’t trust the government; you can’t trust the media’s reporting on the government; you can’t trust the scientists running all the experiments (because they are paid by the drug companies). I mean, I'm even starting to doubt Facebook’s journalistic integrity. For example, there is a news story about a baby elephant who was rescued from a raging river by his whole family and I read/watched it (they scroll the story over the picture so you don’t have to click on it and get the sound – it helps to keep up the appearance that you are getting actual work done - Facebook is so helpful!) and I cried and it was true! But as I said, I am beginning to doubt that all my online sources are reliable. So I must decide if the Elephant family is trustworthy. But I have not met the Elephant family. They may be terribly mean elephants (because even mean people help babies). Perhaps, just last week, they walked away when a neighbor elephant from another tribe got kicked out of his tribe. But I don’t know that story. I only know the story of the baby elephant and so I am thinking of joining the group that supports the tribe that rescues its young struggling baby elephants - but then I could be embroiled in a real controversy when it comes out that, not only did the tribe abandon the refugee elephant, but they hacked the emails of the other tribe and got the elephant deported themselves. Not only that, but the baby elephant was a paid actor and was never in any real danger in the river but was just good at acting. Then I become a key player in Elephant-gate. And we all know where that leads… (we don’t really because we still don’t understand any of it but we are really good at pretending at parties.)

I want to believe that people are just living and working and eating hotdogs for dinner, just like me. (Look people, I tried to hate hot dogs when people told me they were bad but what have we learned here today: NO ONE CAN BE TRUSTED especially people who disparage hotdogs.) But then I watch the news (Facebook and the one with the trained emotive sitting at a desk, because I want to look at things from every angle) and it seems like the people with the really important jobs might be psychopaths bent on getting all the money they can before getting in a space ship and leaving as they hit the self destruct button on earth. (This button is located in the arctic – once the polar ice caps melt; it is exposed when the earth raises to a hot enough temperature, making it easy to reach.) I’m not sure why they need all the money if they are leaving the planet – while I am sure there are aliens (the truth is out there people), I'm also sure the aliens will have a different currency. But they know why they need money and they are sure taking all of it. Maybe they just need it to build the space ship – those things are expensive. Also, I have no idea who they are, but they are certainly someone.

But then they can’t all be bad, right? I’m sure we will be fine. But see, this is where the surreal thing comes back into play. It feels like one of those things where there's one juicy conspiracy after another and I keep expecting to wake up the next day and be like “haha that was fun! And, as a bonus, I have some survival food and water stored up.” Like, for example, when Y2K happened: we put water and canned goods aside, went to the town fun-time, and then the next day veged out on the couch and watched as the world welcomed 2000 without a hitch. But this time, it’s like I keep waking up and it feels like we are taking really slow steps toward the edge of a crumbling cliff. It's still safe but everything out on the horizon seems to be a bit murky. Not only that, but the people pushing us to the edge keep telling us “everything is fine” or “everything is not fine” and meanwhile they keep shoving us closer to the edge. (Remember their space craft is waiting so they have nothing to lose.)

I’m not sure what to expect in 2017. I guess if I start hoarding non perishables, I'll at least be alright after an earthquake. Which there were a lot of in this year… So farewell 2016 I’m not too sure what to think of you yet. But I’m sure Facebook will form my opinions with sound advice and impartial reporting.